#but my brain REFUSES to acknowledge them as such
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thinking about how both tfa (2015) and rogue one (2016) came out post-disney's acquisition of lucasfilms (2012) and both those films live on so fondly in my heart but have also, somehow, been earmarked in my head as the last true additions to star wars canon to have come out ever since
#personal#like even if i enjoy watching things that aren't those two movies post-disney it's like#for whatever reason. my head files it as ''haha that was fun. glad that's not canon''#WHICH IS ADMITTEDLY. A WILD THING TO THINK. LIKE THOSE TV SHOWS AND CARTOONS ARE DEFINITELY CANON#but my brain REFUSES to acknowledge them as such#obviously half of it is ''some of this reads like absolute bullshit''#but the other half is ''i straight up enjoyed this. this was fun to me. but also it's not canon <3''#wish i could just unequivocally like everything but alas my standards are hard to parse even for me#the person who has them#AUGHHHH#don't ask me how tcw fits into this as it's in a weird middle ground#tcw in my head is like...... jedi apprentice.... or the comics...... in that it's canon except it isn't except it IS.#i CANNOT elaborate. my thoughts are an enigma unto myself.
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cyno: could you give me advice on how to get closer to alhaitham?
kaveh: huh?? why are you asking me? i hate alhaitham
cyno: haha oh yeah thatās one of my favorite jokes you do itās so funny :)
kaveh: ā¦..one of your favorite what?
#cytham#haino#cyhaino#cyno#alhaitham#haino incorrect quotes#i think cyno should just take it all as a very intricate joke instead of just stubborn friendship denial#kaveh would be spiraling rip#suddenly has to wonder if EVERYONE thinks itās a joke#(they donāt)#and yet somehow heās closer to the truth than everyone elseš best investigator fr#also this would have astronomical implications for cynoās āhe lives rent free in each of our heartsā quip#and also ALSO kaveh being torn between giving cyno advice and acknowledging heās friends with alhaitham openly#or refusing cyno and feeling BAD but maintaining his reputation#is my aesthetic#also he would OBVIOUSLY give the advice while pleading that cyno does NOT tell anyone he did#which cyno doesnāt because he keeps promises and also because heās excited he gets to be in on their joke#srry for all the tags my brain gets one (1) thought about them and runs with it forever#genshin impact#genshin incorrect quotes
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my fave form of what's basically friends to lovers is when two people meet and have all their own baggage and the connection they form together and love they have for each other forces them to unpack all that baggage if they want to make things work. the kind of relationship where you're forced to look in the mirror and stop avoiding ur own problems because that person forces u to confront all of them (and u force them to confront theirs, too) because the relationship will Not work if you keep up all these walls either from your person of interest or even from urself!!! and there's too much of something there to give up and move on because it's difficult
the kind of thing where there's romance but the real plot of it all is self transformation through loving another. like the focus is on two individuals w/ their own lives who come together and have romantic feelings for each other vs the romance itself being the plot.
and maybe in the end they don't even stay together! maybe it doesn't work out! but there's drastic change and an undeniable impact they both made in each other's lives that will live on. is changing for the better not love in its rawest form?
#( š faun thinks )#this idea has been sitting in my brain for a while and i randomly got the urge to talk about it again#when i write romance this is usually how i do it <3#i love when characters are forced to deal w/ their baggage and unhealthy coping mechanisms because they love someone enough to#put in that effort#or if not that then the connection makes them realize where they're screwing themselves over so they can acknowledge and fix it#Characters. being forced to Think. to Self Reflect. to acknowledge things they're buried about themselves.#i love it#one example would be like. when someone usually runs away from deep connections but is forced to confront that fear because they get#attached enough to someone to genuinely not want to lose them or to genuinely not want to hurt them if they themselves refuse to acknowledg#how much they genuinely care for them on a personal level#stuff like that!!!!!!!! like yes bitch reflect on urself so u stop self sabotaging!!!!!!#make deep connections w/ the other characters through acknowledging ur shadow self!!!!!!!#compromise with someone u love when ur opposing baggages create conflict!!!!!!!#put in effort and grow as people together!!!!!!!!! learn and evolve with someone else!!!!!!!!#this probably says a lot about me...... and this is probably why i don't really like romance as a genre lol#i like when stuff goes deep and focuses on the characters as individuals instead of purely love interests that end up being rather shallow
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You were wondering which circle Lucifer might live in, an if I had to guess, I'd say the sixth one. The one meant to punish heresy:
the belief or opinion contrary to orthodox religious (especially Christian) doctrine
An opinion profoundly at odds with what is generally accepted
A fitting place to settle down for one so severely punished for thinking too far outside of the box.
That'd be fucking awesome and so so fitting.
I'm so curious about where Lucifer's house is. We don't see any indication of where he'd be living within Pentagram City, so if the 9 Circles are a thing, I 100% believe he lives in one of those. You're so big brained for putting him in the Heresy Circle, it's perfect for him.
(But I also love bullying Lucifer and I like the idea that he's cursed to be close to the Sinners at all times as punishment, that way he's constantly reminded of his hubris and mistakes, which is why he locks himself up in his work-room so much. He's as stuck with the Sinners as the Sinners are stuck in the Pride Ring, and he copes with that by never, ever going outside. That's the real reason he's so pale. Guy has a the Hell equivalent of Vitamin-D deficiency.
#I like being mean to Lucifer#give him angst or give me death#he's stuck with the Sinners because the Sinners are his real punishment#which is another reason why he hates them so much#whats worse for ones pride than constantly being reminded of their mistakes?#I also love the idea of Hell being as much of a punishment for Lucifer as it is for the Sinners#he's got a lot in common with them actually#and he hates it and refuses to acknowledge it#but also him living in the Heresy Circle would be cool as hell#I love that a lot#the 9 Circles certainly have fun potential#if only they didn't make my brain hurt#asks#anon#anonymous#World BUilding#Hazbin World Building#Helluva World Building#Hellaverse World Building#The 9 Circles#Dantes Circles
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I know what you are...
ATTACHED
#this is two days after meeting but their lives are CHANGED#LMAO anyways i love having brain damage and forgetting why i love xyz and then being delighted with re-finding the love#can't believe i clowned myself with being all meh when i bought the switch ver for 15$ bc I'm over p5 right#yeah now here i am screenshotting every damn scene with my boy like an overzealous parent witnessing their child's first talent show#but i also be having THOUGHTS UP IN THIS CHILIS#quietly going insane at how ryuji keeps asking akira to not ditch or avoid him and being so earnest in his approach#and akira having such sad eyes and the most wounded vibe being told to avoid sakamoto and choosing to follow and hang with him anyway#like YEAH akira has the option to be sarcastic and verbally refuse ryuji's requests but his actions are the opposite of that#and I'm wondering how much action must mean to the both of them and agwaaghh#akira's little statement to sojiro about how he made a friend LIKE YES MY BOY YOU DID AND YOU'RE ACKNOWLEDGING IT#literally rolling around rn and trying not to write bc i have lost the ability but LORD I AM WEAK#huxiantalks#pegoryu#persona 5
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adhd comix
#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired#like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability#and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors#i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working#isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol#if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you#need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid#im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher#to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll#go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms#AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis#theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were#comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run#and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make#a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!!#im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need#to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh#yapping#vent
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sees a post with otherwise good takes about shitty parents of kids with adhd complaining about their kids being the most annoying thing in the world and like genuinely Hating their kids and making reddit posts about their kids doing bog standard normal ass kid shit like asking a thousand annoying questions (THATS WHAT KIDS DO. THEIR WHOLE JOB AS A KID IS TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD THEYVE BEEN BORN INTO. OF COURSE THEY'RE ASKING YOU A THOUSAND QUESTIONS. WHY ARE YOU WHINING ON REDDIT WHEN YOU HAVE ACCESS TO SEARCH ENGINES AND YOU COULD BE LEARNING WITH THEM. MY MOTHER WOULDVE KILLED FOR ACCESS TO GOOGLE. WEAKASS)
but then that last addition for some reason feels the need to compare "medicating ADHD" to "medically lobotomizing" someone??????? feels?????? offensive?????? you know they actually used to just straight up For Real lobotomize ppl for this, right? im so? thats not even? what? jesus fucking christ.
#toy txt post#feels more fucking lobotomized trying to focus on anything OFF my meds i can feel my brain trying to turn to mush and slop out of my skull#in response. but yeah sure we're about to get an incredibly anti-medication administration lets compare adhd medication to a fucking#lobotomy???? go fuck yourself. im refusing to reblog the post bc i worry this is going to derail and its gonna be a bunch of ppl#who got put on wrong dosages and meds that Didnt Work For Them acting like thats.....the case for all meds or some shit.#you SHOULD have a right to not be forced to take meds that make you feel like shit. strongly agree#would appreciate some acknowledgement that some ppl need meds to not feel like shit and its not in fact comparable to a fucking LOBOTOMY???#fucks sake my meds used to make me Kinda Bitchy and Overstimulated and my family used to beg me to not take them on off days but like i#wanted??? to be able???? to THINK???? and you know what finally helped?? figuring out a supporting schedule of caffeine so it wasnt just a#superhard crash into overstimulation hell + having the fucking agency to not be forced to eat dinner at the table with everyone and turn#into a raging bitch about hearing everyone chewing + having the fucking space and agency to decompress a little at the end of the god damn#day + a slightly lower dose! and guess what im actually just as Annoying on my meds bc now my brain actually works and i can FOCUS enough#to research my interests and questions and annoy everyone around me by talking about. roller coasters or worms or some shit#ouagh
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There's pieces of media that alter your brain chemistry and then there's pieces of media that rearrange you on a molecular level
#this is about#Frankenstein#again#classic lit#sorry but it's nearly 5:30 am and im biting and screaming about the whole Prometheus business#and how much it FITS BUT ALSO DOESN'T#Victor WISHES he had a modecum of Prometheus's swag#but in a non joking way -> It makes sense he uses Prometheus as a descritor for what he's doing. creating a man and all#and dramatic irony dictates that it also fits in the sense that he ends up tortured#but Victor lacks the one thing that made Prometheus's fate tragic#that being the love for his creation(s) . Prometheus made humans and cared for them so much that he went against the god of gods#to give them fire when he saw them struggle in the cold#and wound up paying a heavy price for that good deed#Victor made a man and cast him out INTO the cold the moment he realised the creation wasn't the ideal thing he hoped it would be#Adam is fitting for the creature because Victor by all accounts acts more like god than Prometheus#but point is his fate is as hand made as his creature. a result of choices based on bad assumptions he refuses to ever acknowledge as wrong#compared to prometheus his losses are kind of. well you know the tripping over own bike with a stick meme#anyway disclaimer pls don't take this that seriously as a text analysis- again this is just my 5 am brain going crazy
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the fact that i named my wanderer "yue", a name that means moon and the moon being in niko's splash art.......
my brain worked overtime and i didn't even noticed
#im normal about them#so normal my brain refused to acknowledged it#sorry this is a stretch its just rlly funny how that happened#im totally sane#tag: puppetgear#.txt
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tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. letās write then šš„
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess??#thatās so not fetch of me#topic of the day is:#Iām pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line#which is not fun#but feels more organic#judging by the way Iām keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k#thatās a rough estimate#maybe 280k if Iām being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick#but thatās just a theory#HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too#for example. recently heās been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia#he knows he isnāt sleeping enough#he knows heās stressed af#the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesnāt#and this is not me shaming#I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode#trust me. that aināt fun#but heās starting to hear things. thatās concerning. thatās suspicious. he needs help#but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations#also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isnāt a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy#do criminals go to therapy?#I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe itās part of their reintegration program. good for them#but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage?#idk mate this is fiction#you have fun today ok?#go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree.#:D
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so I got flexed off from work today, and that was supposed to mean sleeping in an extra hour, waking up at six, and studying for my exam. What that actually meant was sleeping until 9, and reading fic until 11, and now sitting here post-shower at 11:20, trying to convince myself to be a person, and instead scrolling tumblr. cries.
#cookie speaks#my brain is just#Shutting Down this week#this exams have me so stressed out#that im just refusing to acknowledge them#im h i d i n g#which is guaranteed to make me fail#knowing that doesn't help me study tho!#and unfortunately#i got up too late to take my adderall#sometimes i think getting the 12 hour release was amistake
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im gonna start going to therapy again
#i had a fight with my parents in which they discovered for the like hundredth time that i have depression and they were like#why dont u just talk about it normally ???? and first because no second because my mom gets mad at me for being depressed and third because#i already did so many times and every time it leads to nothing because they just dont care and forget about it within like two days#its been 10. TEN years of agonizing psychological hell and they still refuse to acknowledge that i am depressed#i mean i even changed like five therapists in the mean timeā¦ that should tell them something#but yea i think after when was said yesterday i will probably go back into therapy.. hopefully because my brain is going to some really#*what#upsetting places so i really need it
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every day i'm tempted to go back to Metal Flowers (my knives!Hanakaki kanej fic) and edit the like two lines where the cure condition is described as feelings being reciprocated, into the cure condition being feelings confessed, and change nothing else
#the only reason i havent done it yet i guess is that it feels weird to make what's technically a big plot change on something published?#but like. it would truly be just two lines changed#and its SO much funnier to have kaz coughing up blood in the attic pissed at his own impending dead#and refusing to even acknowledge the one (1) thing he needs to do to safe his own life because it means recognizing his own emotions#like even in that published draft it was never 'gosh im mad i'm gonna die because she'd never love me'#it was 'i cant believe im dying for such a stupid reason and letting inej down and i havent even killed pekka yet'#like truly nothing really changes in this updated concept except kaz's emotional constipation is what almost kills him#AND the flowers arent 'inej loves him back so he's saved' but#'inej has enough emotional intelligence to realize what he was accidentally saying even though HE doesn't even'#im so funny y'all sometimes my brain does a good and this fic was one of them
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Anyway this drawing made me consider a Dustin who can see the dead cuz it sort of accidentally looked like a ghost cat until I edited the outline so now Iām Considering That
#fem dustin henderson#also sheās too skinny to be the Dustin in my Heart but sheās wearing a hat so-#at least this one doesnāt look exactly like me like my last Dustin art#dustin henderson#stranger things#I like am forcibly trying to force aus out of my brain run cuz I canāt get sucked back into writing novels for no audience#BUT likeā¦. Claudia Henderson got involved in the Hawkins lab expirements and them got the fuck out of dodge for a bit before she gave birth#and Dustin justā¦ can see the dead cuz she has powers#if this is written itās gonna have to be canon gender dustin like brain Iām BEGGING#and like Dustin KNOWS will isnāt dead season 1 but they found his body and everything is really confusing and now el is here#sheās got a ghost cat AND a ghost dart#Eddie dies and she like STRAIGHT UP REFUSES to acknowledge itās his ghost and not the real him#congrats dusty youāve earned the honor of My Favorite Character and that honor is the horrific ability to perceive angry dead people#my art :)
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Okay but hear me out- Donnie x Kendra.
#how is it only me and like 20 other people who see this#there is POTENTIAL people#Is this because Iām writing fics that may never see the light of day?#is it because this ship idea has dug its way into the crevecis of my brain and refuses to be lured out like a cat hidden under a sofa#maybe#but this is a criminally underrated ship and I feel like more people should acknowledge it#they are both such genders#such vibes#I think if I put them in a container and shook them around a little something interesting could happen#real bubblegum butch x touch tone telephone vibes
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Point taken. My response was effectively a very extended version of the previous āThat was an affectionate fuck youā response. I still stand by the idea of this post being mostly a culture clash (because I want to take people in good faith). I wanted to explain why some people reacted how they did in a manner that wasnāt asā¦ obviously antagonistic as everyone else on this version of the post. Just donāt want to be misconstrued.
I agree, this should mostly be conducted with people who are already your friends or at minimum in a more closed space so one can leave it easier if they donāt like it. This general mode of interaction would make most people uncomfortable if they were dropped into it unexpectedly, so put them somewhere they donāt leak (much, some people are either unthinking or assholes, but banning/blocking works in those cases).
We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think
#Now my brain is stuck on blocking.#Iām always surprised when I hear of people who only block bots or donāt block at all.#I block people Iāve never interacted with because I think theyāre stupid.#Mostly just low reading comprehension and refusal to acknowledge when itās pointed out theyāre wrong.#I donāt need bad takes on my dash/for you page.#Think recognizing words is equivalent to reading them? Suppose it doesnāt matter. Blocked is only one word#But I digress.
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